-A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended 
from duty.

-If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you 
bump into will know all the steps.

-Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the 
communication systems of any invading alien civilization

-It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight 
involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to 
attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening 
manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

-When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, 
they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

-No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, 
volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

-Police Departments give their officers personality tests to 
make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is 
their total opposite.

-When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English 
to each other.

-You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

-Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in 
seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a 
child trapped inside.

-An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will 
cause no lasting damage to an eight year old child.

-Television news bulletins usually contain a story that 
affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the 
television on