1.   How can I miss you if you won't go away?

2.  Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition

3.  Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

4.  I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

5.  I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage.
     They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. -- Rita Rudner

6.  I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure

7.  To err is human, but it feels divine. -- Mae West

8.  We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails
 

9.  Love does not consist in gazing at each other,
     but in looking together in the same direction. --- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

10.   Do not condemn the judgement of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong.   -Dandemis

11.  If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

12.  If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

13.  Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back.

14.   Yoda:"No! Try not! Do... or do not. There is no try."-Star Wars

15.  I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in  labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels GOOD for 36 hours. - Rita Rudner

16.  I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. - Roseanne

17.  If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a
       hostage situation?

18.  When companies ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

19.   If buttered toast always lands butter-side up, and a cat always lands on its feet. What would happen if you tied a piece of buttered toast on the back of a cat?

20.  If I throw a stick, will you leave?

21.  And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...?

22.  20,000 years from now, when future archaeologists are excavating the remains of our civilization, they will undoubtedly conclude that we lived in a matriarchal society and worshipped a female deity named 'Barbie'."-- David Boucher

23.  Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change

24.  Lead Me Not Into Temptation, I Can Find It Myself.

25.  Wanna get laid???   Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.

26.   I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.

27.    I haven't been the same since that house fell on my sister.

28.   Grow your own dope!  Plant a man.

29.   If I promise to miss you, will you go away.

30.   Where are we going? and why am I in this handbasket.

31.    I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's    fault.

32.   Having control over myself is nearly as good as having control over others.

33.    I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and local laws.

34.    Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.

35.    The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette

36.    Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?

37.    I'd rather have 15 minutes of wonderful, than a lifetime of nothing special. --- Julia Roberts,  Steel Magnolias.

38.    You can't have everything.  Where would you put it?

39.    Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny

40.    Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men. (Martin Luther King, Jr.)